Sabbaticalistic

I can't tell if I'm on sabbatical already or in desperate need of one.

I think that technically, a sabbatical is an extended leave from your job with the understanding that when you return your job will still be there. If that's the case, I'm not on one because my 'job' was never a real job and there's no guarantee that I'll ever be able to return to it.

I want to though, some day. I miss academe. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere and was part of something larger. I miss having elders to look up to. I miss wandering hallways, drinking way too much coffee, arriving just in time to lead seminars of eager undergrads. I miss getting excited about ideas. I miss believing I could make a difference with words.

But that's not what I'm doing now.

What am I doing now?

I'm not really sure. I don't think anyone is. But that doesn't stop them from being blindly supportive of it which, to be honest, is getting a little old. Someone who hasn't given me a second thought in months said to me the other day that it seemed like what I was doing was a great opportunity and that it seemed to be going well and that they hoped I continued to be happy. Oh for three. Well, not entirely - things aren't awful; but I find it strange that someone who doesn't know anything about anything and doesn't really like me anyways would bother to even pretend to care or lend support.

I'm just complaining now.

So, sabbaticals are actually terrifically useful experiences and can help a person learn skills and gain experience they wouldn't otherwise, meet people they'd never have met and live another life for a limited amount of time. If I'm not on one now, maybe I should plan one. It might be cool to just move from sabbatical to sabbatical for the rest of my days: like a working holiday, except less holiday more working. But who wants time off anyway?

Rilo Kiley - It's a Hit



more about "Sabbaticalistic", posted with vodpod